venerdì 9 dicembre 2011

Slimer Europe and geographical sterotypes - English version

Some think History is cyclic.
Some, with Darwinian attitude, believe in progress, in evolution.
Some amateur historiographers sustain regression.

Whatever direction we are heading to, whether forward, backward or in loop, we are in this together, despite everything.

My considerations are about Europe and being European. In these day is a big issue.
I'm sorry for (some of) the Brits but, yes, you're included.


Here we are, back again to the question of the identity. I do think that there is a European identity, I could feel it when talking and living with people from other European countries and other continents. I don't quite know what it is but the others felt it too, not without surprise.

Europe is like slime dough: you can try to stretch it apart as much as you want but the rest of it will follow. So, if you place it on the edge of your desk, part of it will slowly crawl down and the rest will drop as well, sooner or later.

But I really feel I know very little about it, although I lived in some of its countries. All I have is a bunch of stereotypes, that is mental images about this and that. They are superficial. They are partially based on real facts. Sometimes they're out of date and can become dangerously stupid.

***
So here's how I see Europe in a handful of brisk observations:
(Don't forget that I'm Italian)

Everything that is above the Alps is Northern Europe.
Everything that touches the Mediterranean sea + Portugal is Southern Europe (with the exception of 80 % of France), therefore has something in common with my blood temperature.

Switzerland is a black hole: people who don't take part in anything, happy in their selfish ivory tower. Their towns are so perfect you hardly dare to breath when you're there. It is a big lie indeed that their chocolate is very good. Austria has just the same beauties but has more historical art to see and great pastry.

Scandinavia and Finland might be the richest, and the blondest, but no wonder - after I fainted in a Norwegian airport and nobody helped or even noticed - that it's a depressing place that have the highest suicidal rate in Europe. (I fainted, not on purpose, here and there in the world and I had very different responses).

Germany is admirable - though Germans are quite square-minded, by their own admission. They are the one country that managed to cope best with their complicated past. All the others have a long way to go.

Holland and Denmark are well organisd, very civil, cultured and arty. If they only had the fantastic gastronomy and weather of Southern countries...

Luxembourg is tini-tiny.


Iceland is geysers and Bjork.

***
Italy is one and will always look so, even when the Football World Cup is over and despite the Lega Nord (that, then, should simply stop being payed by Rome central government, if they don't want it).
The same thing for Spain, or Belgium. We or you might feel our inner incommensurable differences but, at a slightly larger scale, such as the one outside our own national borders, the rest of the world is all myopic, they just see borders silhouettes.


The Empires are over. All that should be left is shame, but pride seems to win over in the majority.

The UK is an island and not two, like the English'd like to think. Ireland is greener and more friendly.

Nobody wants to learning French anymore.
***

Eastern Europe is still a question mark for me. This is the doom of being born when the USSR still existed and having been raised by Micheal Jackson's We are the world.


They say that what you learn as a child, you never forget. (And tv has taught me far more than I would have wished.)
Ex-Yugoslavia doesn't exist but I'm not too sure I could make a list of what came out of it, since I haven't heard much since the war was over, and I blame it on terrible Italian journalism. All I know is the huge immigration that hit Italy in the 90s and, frankly, is quite integrated by now, so I don't really have enough elements to create a draft of identity in my mind.

Roumania is much talked about negatively. Bulgaria and Hungary are pretty much unknown to me and I always switch their capitals.

Poland produced the first, and probably the last, ashamed, lovely and entertaining Pope.
Czeckoslovakia... no, wait a minute, they are two.
"EstoniaLettoniaLituania", that's how I learnt them, altogether.

***
I remember the lesson about European geography at school.
I also remember that, what could have been a day, a week or a month later, the teacher had to take it all back because the USSR exploded in what seemed to me a myriad of countries. These states made their appearance in my confused mental planetary.
I decided that they wouldn't stay, anyway. I decided it was no point to learn their capital cities, geographical conformation, climate, uses&costumes, for, some time soon, things would have changed...

***
At that point of my life, Michael 's We are the World had taught me two things:

1) There are children in the world whose skin colour is like Micheal Jackson's (who was still black at the time) and they suffer.
I believed him blindly, although I had never seen one in my life. I just had seen big men with a very dark skin, much darker than Michael's, and they lived somewhere near the seaside, since I only met them when I was on holiday on the beach, and they were trying to sell towels and sunglasses. They were Marocchini (Moroccans) or Vucumprà (distorted Italian for "Would you like to buy?"). I later understood that that Moroccan look like some of my family in Southern Italy.

2) We humans are different but this is beautiful because the more coloured the world is, the more fun. We should stop all the wars and the suffering and be in peace. We shall make the world a better place because we all - the children in particular - are the world and we all smile and love each other.
I realise now how much Oliviero Toscani's advertising campaigns for Benetton has actually contaminated my interpretation of the song at that time.
"All The colours of the world"
This concept made me emotional at the time. I tried to apply it and resolve the fights with my mates at school, since I knew no black child to be friend with.
***
So, why should things be different for the countries of former USSR?
They had a fight, just like those I have daily with my school mates, and they're angry with each other. But they will get back to be friend again, just like I do with my friends!

I was absolutely sure that, within a few months, the USSR would be back again as one. That's why I refused to memorise the new geography.

I actually figured in my mind the moment in which I will have seen on tv Gorbachov and all those serious men in suits shaking hands to ratify peace, like I did with my friends. I didn't know enough about foreign policy at the time, but I was quite sure they wouldn't have exactly used the words "Pace, carote, patate" (Peace, carrots, potatoes), just like we kids did.

***
These are days of big decisions in Europe. All united yet each in their own difficulty. Trying to make the big machine work and wanting to please one's own private national public.
Britain has just isolated itself with one of the most astonishing political decisions ever. I still think the solution is staying together and change the economical system. If somebody falls dead, the others will be wounded profoundly. So better let go a little now than a lot later.

And meanwhile, we could all do this old Naples remedy against bad luck.



 
ALTOGETHER NOW!

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