Visualizzazione post con etichetta London Callings. Mostra tutti i post
Visualizzazione post con etichetta London Callings. Mostra tutti i post

mercoledì 14 dicembre 2011

CABIN FEVER: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"

(Italiano in fondo)

Since mid-November I have been living near the West Coast of Wales, in a beautiful place in the middle of the countryside, where my internship coordinators live and work, therefore where I'm also working.
It takes 10 minutes walk to the local shop (the only one in the village) where you have the guarantee of meeting the next human being.
To move around, unless you have a car (which I don't have), you can catch a bus. The stop it's at 8 minutes walk and, on the other side of the street, there is the only pub which is lively only on Friday nights, but I'd always better be back with the daylight because the last part of the road home is an unmade road in the woods with no light at all.

Even some locals don't know this place. Here no mobile phone or satellite device gets a signal.
You can imagine how happy I was on my way back from Canada, after a 10 hours flight and 7 more hours ahead until here, when at Cardiff airport my suitcase didn't show up.

Aberystwyth, the only place signalled in the bay on the map, is the bigger centre, at 50 minutes by car.

I'm never completely alone, apart from almost two weeks of complete solitude in November. It was an interesting experience but I was so busy starting a new creative project via Skype that the time passed quite fast.

In the last two weeks I physically spent not more than two hours outside the house, thanks to a seasonal cold. Whilst I'm almost completely recovered, I think I'm starting to develop another sort of illness, the approaching Christmas playing its part.

Cabin fever is a term for a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person is isolated and/or shut in a small space for an extended period.
Symptoms include:
Restlessness: I have a hard time sleeping.
Irritability: why is my f***ing hair so electric?
Paranoia: ask my partners in the project I'm working on. They're lucky they're in another country.
Irrational frustration with everyday objects: I curse at my laptop.
Forgetfulness: what day is today?
And laughter, excessive sleeping, distrust of anyone they are with, and an urge to go outside even in the rain, snow or dark.

Half of the symptoms are there.

Am I doomed to become like this?

Jack Nicholson in "The Shining" by Stanley Kubrick - 1980

I don't really think so.

It might be true that "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", but I'm a girl and my dullness is just the usual wintry colour of my skin.

I'm rather closer to the child from Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, although I don't talk to my finger (yet).


I did have a few conversations aloud when I was completely alone, but I was mainly talking to white goods (hurry up, you microwave! why are you so cold, radiator?), expressing thoughts aloud or, again, swearing against my laptop.

They say that a therapy for cabin fever can be simply getting out and interacting with nature, and there is plenty of it here. So, as soon as I started breathing from my nose again, although I couldn't almost smell or taste, I went from a walk up the hill and I was smiling again.


The daylight gently fading away, the intense smell (I could feel it!) of the wet earth, the sheep placidly eating the greenest grass... I suddenly felt the compulsion to take pictures.

But suddenly I had to stop because I spotted him, or rather he spotted me.


I know the picture isn't good but I didn't dare take more, I just turned my back remembering bulls get upset by rapid movement and headed home.

Now I'm facing one more day in here. I've got plenty of things to do: filling in a 7-pages report in Portuguese, condensing pages and pages of babelic slurry concepts into a 500-words text in English, admin work in Italian, packing, amongst others.

The cabin fever will probably fade out in the next 24 hours and then it will be urbanisation again. And not a small one, for I'm heading to London. Just a few days for recovering (then I'll fly back to Italy). A little bit of a shock treatment, eh?

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ITALIANO

E' da metà novembre che vivo vicino alla costa Ovest del Galles, in un posto bellissimo nel mezzo della campagna, dove i miei "capi" vivono e lavorano e dove, quindi, lavoro anch'io.
Ci vogliono 10 minuti a piedi per raggiungere l'unico negozio locale dove almeno si ha la garanzia di incontrare il prossimo essere umano.
Per muoversi, almeno che non si abbia una macchina e io non ce l'ho, ci sono gli autobus. La fermata é a 8 minuti a piedi e, sull'altro lato della strada, si trova l'unico pub del paese, ed é vivo solo al venerdì sera, ma é meglio sempre rientrare a casa prima che faccia buio perchè l'ultima parte del percorso é una strada non asfaltata, senza luci, in mezzo ad un boschetto.

Perfino alcuni locali non conoscono questo posto, dove per altro nessun cellulare o GPS prende.
Ci si può quindi immaginare com'ero felice quando, tornando dal Canada, insonne, dopo 10 ore di volo e altre 7 di fronte per arrivare fino a qui, all'aereoporto di Cardiff la mia valigia non é apparsa.

Aberystwyth, l'unica località nel golfo segnalata sulla mappa, é il centro più grande della zona, a 50 min di macchina da qui.

Non sono mai completamente da sola, escludendo le quasi due settimane di completa solitudine in novembre. E' stata un'esperienza interessante; ma comunque ero talmente presa dall'inizio di un nuovo progetto che mi ha tenuto parecchie ore su skype, che il tempo è passato abbastanza velocemente.

Nelle ultime due settimane, non ho fisicamente passato più di due ore fuori di casa, grazie anche ad un potente raffreddore stagionale. Se nel frattempo ne sono praticamente guarita, mi sa invece che sto covando un'altra malattia, complice anche l'avvicinarsi del Natale.

La Cabin fever o Febbre da Capanna é il termine che descrive una reazione claustrofobica che accade quando una persona rimane a lungo isolata o in uno spazio di dimensioni ridotte.
I sintomi includono:
Irrequietezza: faccio fatica a dormire o dormo male.
Irritabilità: perchè cacchio i miei capelli sono così elettrici??
Paranoia: chiedere alle mie colleghe del progetto a cui sto lavorando. Sono fortunate che stanno in un altro paese.
Frustrazione irrrazionale nei confronti di oggetti di uso quotidiano: insulto il mio computer.
Dimenticarsi le cose: che giorno é oggi?
E inoltre ridere, dormire eccessivamente, non fidarsi delle persone attorno a sè, e voglia irrefrenabile di uscire anche con pioggia, neve o oscurità.

Metà dei sintomi ci sono.

Vorrà forse dire che sono destinata a diventare così?

Jack Nicholson in "The Shining" by Stanley Kubrick - 1980

Non credo proprio.

Sarà anche vero che "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" (solo lavoro e niente svago fanno di Jack un uomo bigio),  ma io sono una fanciulla e il bigiume é il colore invernale della mia faccia a Nord del 45° parallelo.

Piuttosto, mi sento più vicina al bambino del film Shining di Stanley Kubrick, anche se non parlo col mio dito indice (per il momento).


Ho avuto, sì, qualche conversazione a voce alta nei giorni di totale solitudine, ma si trattava principalmente di conversazioni indirizzate ad elettrodomestici (muoviti microonde! perchè sei così gelido termosifone?), pensieri espressi a voce alta, o come già detto, insulti al mio computer.

Si dice che una terapia per la cabin fever sia semplicemente uscire ed interagire con la natura, e qui ce n'è a bizzeffe. Così, non appena ho ripreso a respirare dal naso, anche se non avevo ancora recuperato completamente gusto ed olfatto, sono andata a fare una passeggiata sul per la collina e mi é tornato il sorriso.


La luce del giorno che lentamente svanisce, l'intenso profumo (l'ho sentito!) della terra umida, le pecore placide che brucano l'erba verdissima....ed improvvisamente ho sentito l'irrefrenabile impulso di fare foto.

Ed altrettanto improvvisamente ho smesso quando ho visto lui, o meglio, quando lui ha visto me.


So che la foto non é un granchè ma non ho osato farne di più. Ho semplicemente girato le spalle, ma lentamente perchè mi sono ricordata che i tori si irritano con i movimenti bruschi, e sono tornata a casa.

Ora mi manca sono uno altro girono da passare qui. Ho un sacco di cose da fare: compilare sette pagine di modulo della relazioni di progetto in portoghese, condensare pagine e pagine di pensieri babelici ed impastati in un testo di 500 parole in inglese, lavoro d'amministrazione vario in italiano, fare le valigie, etc

La mia cabin fever svanirà probabilmente nelle prossime 24 ore e poi sarà urbanizzazione un'altra volta. E non di quelle piccole, perchè sono diretta a Londra (solo per qualche giorno e poi Italia per Natale). Quando si dice terapia d'urto...

martedì 6 settembre 2011

So many things, so little time

Just August in London (apart from a week in Scotland/Wales) is a little time for too many things.


For the whole month I kept dreaming way too much for my poor body to rest. I woke up sored by the violent intensity of my dreams: all the people and places of my (short) life mashed up in my mind's intense night life. Dreaming is necessary to digest reality but what if you've been overfed?
London's over stimulation took a bow in Orpheus' land for letting her the doors open.

According to the English language I've been taught at school, "city" is no person, thus the correct pronoun to use to address to London would be the neuter "it". But all the cities are women: their complication; their varieties but little conforming; their big hug - cuddling, welcoming, loose, unmindful, incumbent, suffocating, overwhelming. Villages are men: difficult to reach, simple to get to know, though still keeping secret corners and likely surprising outdoor routes.

London is a woman. It is one of those women whose personality you could get to know just little by little, partially mysterious but not hidden. There is always something new to discover about her, and even those part of her you think you know, well, they're ever changing and much more complex than it might look. She'll let you know her but she knows you won't be really able to catch up, even with a big effort. She is there anyway, blooming with restless activity; all over, whether you're curious or not.
"Lisboa é sò cantinhos"- Lisbon is but little corners. Lisbon is shy, she hides her treasures. She'll let you in but it's not for the masses. Milan is grey, many people don't like her. Once an old friend of mine said: "liking Milan is like falling in love for an ugly woman. Rome, instead, is a whore: she spreads her legs and hides nothing. She's wide open." Quite a definition.

A few days ago Wales-based playwright/dramaturg and friend Kaite O'Reilly said to me "I've always found it hard to work and think in London because it's so over stimulating". I couldn't agree more. In order to properly work, therefore think, London is spurring one's senses way too much and in too many directions. Especially if you know your time there is limited. It is not only fast but also and foremost hyper-offering. My existential issue - that could be summon up in the question "What to choose?" - got exasperated in London. And sometimes you feel like 80% of your energy is spent on keeping away from distractions and being focused on what you have or want to do, cos it's so easy to be blown away by randomly-encountered events or propositions.

Even in such conditions, I got to work on my projects and almost completed all the goals I had set.
I got to read at least one play a week: one about London (Pornography by Simon Stephens), then classical Greek tragedy, in preparation to September in Epidauros.
Aeschylus' Agamemnon: Clytemnestra's revenge over her husband who killed his and her own daughter. Euripides' Andromache: Hermione's jealousy causes her own despair. Aeschylus' Persians: a great army facing the worst defeats. And now Euripides' Orestes.
All the misery of mankind in a few pages. And these feminine figures...they're mesmerizing like a city map. Complicated, undismayed, unabashed, unreachable, quick-tempered, trigger-happy, fierce and brave...and desperate.

Wonder what city I am.

lunedì 8 agosto 2011

London calling

(Left Llanarth to Carmarthen on 30 July by car. Caught a train to London Paddington.)
London's calling me but not as loud as when I was 14 years old, when I dreamt of moving to London. Quite a surprise finding a city with a low skyline. I wasn't really expecting it to be so human-size.

I spent a week wandering around, looking for temporary orientation. I'm staying in Euston/Camden area. Very central, can walk everywhere. I've been exploring the city mechanism, looking for "authentic" places, away from the touristic routes. In these temporary settlement, the first thing I look for is finding where to shop for healthy food. I guess I toured every supermarket looking for my substitute for Pingo Doce (PT) or Esselunga (IT). Not quite found The One yet.

London is big. It is so very big you don't really get to see much. But the landscape is everywhere, it has no landlord.


I got baptized straightaway into some local rituals like touring the pub on Saturday night and a restorative Sunday Roast, with some new Italian friends. (Back to meat after great veggie food in July).


London's weather has been quite fair - if not definitely generous - with me. Therefore I could digest and take a Sunday nap at the park, but had a hard time varying my outfits for I left all summer clothes for Southern European hot summers.

As usual, I had to indulge with my personal obsession: laundry. (I can't stand accumulation of clothes to wash!). Went to a laundrette and waited half an hour for my stuff to get clean and kept myself entertained taking pictures, reading and observing my company in the shop. 


London is a good occasion to get back in contact with friends I hadn't seen in years. Nuno is staying in Brixton, a jolly multicultural neighbourhood south-east.

We went to a Latin-American restaurant where we ordered our meal in Spanish and then had a coffee in a authentic Portuguese café: eventually a real espresso! E um pastel de nata para matar saudades...(Finally I got back to fluent Portuguese.)


Met another friend (Audrey - therefore, back to speaking French) in South bank (National Theatre) and had a very long walk to the Tate Modern and back, crossed Waterloo bridge and went up North visiting Soho, the Opera House and all nearby streets.

London is full of green areas and runners. Everywhere. My friend occasionally runs in Brockwell Park within an event called Parkrun, a 5 Km run.
http://www.parkrun.com/home
I have my running shoes with me, although I haven't been running since 2008 or so. I convinced myself I could do it. So, woke up at 7 a.m. on Saturday morning and did my little bit of exercice, running really slow (couldn't help it even if I wanted to, but I didn't anyway) and enjoying the view.

Covent Garden on a Saturday afternoon is quite a busy place. There I met Diana (from the Inov-Art program) who gave me plenty of tips I will enjoy when I'll have more time.

One last hug and many cheers to Kyounghee on her farewell party in Wimbledon (she's going back to South Korea). Another hug and a quick chat over coffee with Joyce (from Jordan) at king's Cross station.


And back to packing. Off we go to another adventure.